Supporting you with specialist therapy online

Miscarriage therapy and therapy for stillbirth

Specialist psychological therapy to help you process the grief and trauma of a stillbirth, miscarriage or termination of a much-wanted baby.

You shouldn’t have to process baby loss alone

Baby loss is heartbreaking. Perhaps you’ve suffered a miscarriage or had to make the difficult decision to have a termination. Maybe you’ve had the shock of a stillborn baby or a baby that lost their fight in the NICU. There should be no hierarchy of grief when it comes to baby loss. And you shouldn’t be left trying to figure this out alone.

But baby loss is unique. It’s grief for both a version of yourself and an envisaged future.

Baby loss is also when grief collides with trauma; you might feel you relive your miscarriage every single day, even though it happened months or years ago. It may feel impossible to come to terms with your loss, and others don’t understand how stuck you feel. Perhaps people don’t talk about it anymore and expect you to move on.

I know you want to find a way to settle something within yourself, to reconcile the version of yourself before with the version now, to find ways of honouring your baby while also moving forward again.

There are no easy answers when faced with an experience like this, but specialist miscarriage counselling or stillbirth therapy can help you to make sense of what has happened and process your trauma and grief.

Miscarraige Support - Better Beginnings

Make sense of
your experiences

Miscarriage therapy is a safe space to make sense of your experience of baby loss or stillbirth.

Process the trauma
and grief

Compassionately delivered psychological therapy using approaches that are known to work.

Move forward
again

Learn how to reconnect with who you are now and what matters to you

I provide a safe space to help you come to terms with baby loss

Miscarriage counselling or stillbirth therapy can help you to make sense of what has happened and process your trauma and grief.

Over the years, I have helped many other people after a miscarriage or stillbirth. I also have lived experience, which allows me to understand what you’re going through.

You deserve a safe space to help contain you through the grief—a space where you can say the very worst of it without worrying about anyone else. To find ways of channelling your grief whilst honouring your babies’ memory.

You might also benefit from specialist psychological therapy to gently help you process some of the distressing experiences from your loss. I find approaches such as EMDR therapy can help you develop a different relationship with the most upsetting memories, not so you forget your baby, but to forge a new way forward where you can be more at ease with what’s happened.

To start building a future filled with things you enjoy and people you love rather than feeling stuck in the past.

 

Dr. Miriam Inder - Clinical Psychologist

How it works

Step one

Contact me and let's talk

Contact me using the button below and we can book a free introduction call so you can be confident I'm a good fit for you.

Step two

Together, we'll create a plan

With the security of feeling comfortable with me, we meet and begin by gently creating a shared understanding of your needs and crafting an individualised treatment plan.

Step three

Start moving forward again

We work together at a pace that’s right for you, using specialist psychological therapy to help you achieve your therapy goals

FAQ's
Below you can find answers to some frequently asked questions about miscarriage therapy and therapy for stillbirth.
How Therapy Can Help

The most important aspect of therapy after miscarriage or stillbirth is having trust in your therapist. Like any relationship, this grows over time but, ideally, you would begin your first session feeling like they are someone you can feel comfortable with. Our culture lacks a collective understanding of perinatal loss, and there’s a stark absence of the usual rituals and rites of passage that go with other losses. This absence of social validation means there may be very few spaces where you can be open about your feelings.

After the therapeutic relationship, there are also specific therapeutic approaches which are effective in helping people after a miscarriage or stillbirth. I particularly draw on Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing and Compassion Focussed Therapy.

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) is known to effectively help people cope with the emotional aftermath of baby loss. While EMDR is typically associated with trauma processing, it can also be adapted to address the accompanying complex grief and distress.

EMDR therapy is effective in reducing trauma symptoms, such as memories which have a certain ‘nowness’ to them, which might even feel like ‘flashbacks’ of what’s happened. These memories might also focus on specific sensory details, like what something looked/sounded/felt/smelt like. There are often particular meanings we’ve made from experiences of baby loss. E.g. ‘I’m out of control’ or ‘it’s my fault’ or ‘I’m not safe’. If your body and brain experience these things, we can call this a trauma response and EMDR therapy is very good at addressing this.

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) offers a compassionate and holistic approach to healing after baby loss, addressing not only the psychological impact of the loss but also the deeper emotional and existential questions that arise. By fostering self-compassion, CFT empowers individuals to navigate their grief journey with greater strength and acceptance.

How long after my loss should I wait before starting therapy?

Deciding when to start therapy after experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth is a highly personal decision. It’s generally recommended to consider therapy as soon as you feel ready and able to engage in the process. Below are some considerations to help you determine the right timing for starting therapy.

  • Immediate Support
    If you’re struggling to cope with the immediate aftermath, reaching out for support as soon as possible can be beneficial. Many therapists offer support to help you navigate the initial shock and grief.
  • Support System
    However, if you need time to process your emotions privately or with the support of loved ones before engaging in therapy, that’s completely understandable, too. Consider the availability of your support system, including family, friends, or online baby loss support forums (see my resources section here) that can offer emotional and practical support. If you have a strong support network, you may feel more prepared to engage in therapy sooner.
  • Therapist Availability
    If you’re looking for in-person therapy, then you may need to factor in the time it takes to find a psychologist who specialises in therapy after miscarriage or stillbirth.

Ultimately there is no right timeline for seeking therapy after baby loss. What matters most is finding the support that feels most helpful to you as you grieve and heal.

If you need help deciding when to start therapy or have concerns about engaging in therapy, consider discussing your thoughts and feelings with your GP who can offer guidance and support.

Can therapy help if I'm struggling with the decision to try for another baby?

Yes, therapy can be immensely helpful if you’re struggling with the decision to try for another baby after experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth.

Therapy provides a safe and non-judgmental space to explore the complex emotions you’re experiencing. This might include fears of experiencing another loss, concerns about your ability to cope with anxiety, worries about the impact on your relationship, or guilt for feeling preoccupied with the possibility of another baby. It can be a struggle to comprehend this in-between place. Therapy can help you make sense of all the complex emotions.

It’s not unusual to have a powerful urge to be pregnant again after loss, to feel compelled even, but you might also feel terrified about the prospect. Therapy can support you in processing the grief and trauma of your baby loss so you can move forward at your own pace.

Can therapy help if I'm pregnant after baby loss and struggling with anxiety?

Absolutely, therapy can be very beneficial if you’re pregnant after loss and struggling with anxiety.

Pregnancy can be an anxiety-provoking time for anyone, but it is particularly challenging for individuals who have experienced loss. It’s common for individuals who are pregnant after a loss to experience heightened anxiety that something will go wrong again. Therapy provides a safe space to process the grief and trauma associated with your previous loss.

Therapy can also focus on you with practical coping skills and strategies to navigate your anxiety during pregnancy. This might include managing stress, regulating emotions, and cultivating self-care practices promoting emotional well-being.

Therapy can also support you in communicating openly and honestly with your partner, healthcare providers, and loved ones about your anxiety during pregnancy. A therapist can help facilitate conversations about your fears and concerns, allowing you to feel heard and supported. This might include advocating for you to be allocated a specialist midwife, drawing up a psychologically informed birth plan, and helping you cope with the transition to motherhood.

Overall, therapy can offer invaluable support and guidance if you’re pregnant after loss. Whether you’re processing grief, managing pregnancy-related anxiety, or preparing for the transition to motherhood, therapy can provide the compassionate care and practical tools you need to navigate this time with greater resilience.